April 27, 2008 – 10:42 am
It didn’t take the movie The Italian Job for me start coveting a Mini Cooper. The first time I saw one, I decided it would be my very next car. I was then driving a black 1988 Nissan Sentra, a wholly practical, dependable, sensible, staid box of a car. I loved my Sentra, who I [...]
April 25, 2008 – 12:50 pm
One two three four five He thinks he’s written a poem Instead, it’s just words _______________________________ Geoff Hoff is co-author of the best selling satirical novel Weeping Willow: Welcome to River Bend
(I have written short stories for as long as I can remember. They run from the personal to the surreal, from fantasy to horror, from satire to silliness. This is the first of many that I intend to post here. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think.) (©2008 – do not reproduce in [...]
It would probably come as no surprise to anyone who knew me that I’m a college graduate; I’m fairly well spoken, fairly well read, use multi-syllabic words and have a subtle air of pretension that precedes me into any room. It may come as a surprise, however, to know that not once in the thirty [...]
April 15, 2008 – 10:32 am
As a young boy in the remote New Jersey town called Flatbrookville, I hated peas, those grey-green orbs piled on my dinner plate threatening to roll over into the mashed potatoes (a favorite) and pollute Grandma’s wonderful pot roast. They smushed on my tongue into a slimy mess that tasted unnatural with an undercurrent of [...]
April 14, 2008 – 10:36 am
I think the whole “six degrees of separation” theory is based on faulty science, but has become so ingrained in the American Zeitgeist that anyone daring to disbelieve it is at best considered an idiot and at worst labeled a heretic. That being said, I recently had a series of “small world” experiences. I decided [...]
Spy Magazine, that wonderful satirical magazine that slowly started losing subscribers as it slowly devolved into a bitch fest, had a great feature called “Logrolling In Our Time” which presented two members of American intelligentsia giving favorable, often glowing critiques of each other on their respective pulpits. It was surprising how many pairs of mutual [...]
I’m tempted to start this post with a fart or nose picking joke. You see, I have been told by many people who should know that my humor is too intelligent and I want to get along. Hello, my name is Geoff and I’m a recovering intellectual. It all began in grade school when I [...]
There is a dentist who has an office just under ours in the building where we have our office. He has a late model BMW. Not even a particularly nice late model BMW. Whenever he drives it to work, he spends several minutes putting a custom fitted cloth covering over it. The covering has snug [...]
I recently moved from a little guest house that I’d been living in for fifteen years to a two bedroom house with a great, rustic, overgrown back yard complete with brick patio covered with wood trellising, a quaint seventies type rock fountain and a kidney shaped pool. Just to the side of the patio is [...]
